(no subject)

oh my gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd..... most epic dump EVER! I feel two pounds lighter, except that's like 1/3 of my body weight.

I hope that ensures they'll shovel my crap for me more than once a week.

(no subject)

Yesterday, the humans reproduced. There had to be AT LEAST 20 of them, coming in and out. They all wanted to pet me, and they ate a LOT of foodstuffs. I don't understand them... my food tastes so much better that theirs does. If only they knew what they were missing. I was clearly too cool for all of them and went upstairs to be above them. I ruled ALL while sleeping in the bathroom upstairs. That'll show them.

There's something strange going on here. My People smell like... others, or rather, AN other. A female other. She smells funny, like she ate other Others. This, of course, makes sense to you humans reading. That Other better know that I own this joint.
What's in the hole?


Two of the humans spent some time in the giant bowl of water today. I tried to tell them it was a bad idea, but they wouldn't listen. They wouldn't even let me out so I could find a high place and stand guard over them! I did the best I could from inside my prison.

Fortunately, the humans returned without evident harm from their ordeal. I tried to look them over closely, but they went and got themselves stuck in a giant glass box that sprays water!

I did everything I could think of to help get them out of there... I clawed at the walls, and inspected the area thoroughly. I kept calling out to them to make sure that it wasn't too late, and they kept answering... It spurred my efforts onwards.

Then, I knew what I had to do. I had to get in through the top of the giant glass box! It was pretty high, and so I considered my plan of attack carefully... and then I jumped! I almost missed and got caught in the trap with the humans, but fortunately I managed to catch myself. The ledge was very, very narrow, so I wasn't able to explore to my satisfaction, but I could see the humans and they could see me!

They called out to me, and I tried to help them. Sadly, after all my attempts I was still unsuccessful. Defeated, I decided to retreat before the box attempted to trap me, too. The box wasn't going to let me go easily, though! When I was landing from my escape, I slipped on the wet stuff that must have leaked out of the glass box and fell. It hurt, but I couldn't let the glass box know that it had managed to injure me. I retreated to the room with shelves and waited.

It seems that my humans are smarter than I thought. They managed to escape the clutches of the glass box, and come find me in the room with shelves. I made sure to let them know how glad I was to see them. Hopefully they'll listen to me next time...
  • Current Mood
    sore sore




The last few days have been extremely confusing and stressful. First, the squishy one and her friends shoved me into a box of some sort. I tried to escape, but alas the box was too strong. I really don't remember the next little while, but all of a sudden the metal cage keeping me in was opened! I carefully wandered out, and to my amazement I was in a totally new place! The squishy one was there, as well as all of my minions toys. I decided that this place must be ok, so I started to wander around to check out the sights. After awhile the one who is here now picked me up and locked me into this very large place. Not long after this the one who is here now picked me up again and started to move me from room to room while there were loud noises.

I did not like this. Don't worry, I let him know :)

Soon after this incident the noisemakers all left, and I finally got some sleep.

I woke up the next morning and everyone was here - including the big one! I explored a lot more today! I even found a place that I can look at the huge water bowl that the humans like.

I think I likes it here :)

What do you think cats do at 3AM?

The fuzzy one was rebuilding his nest tonight, and took my sleepy spot away! He's sleeping on top of what used to be my roof. He smooshed it, he did!! I looked all over for a way in but no hope was in sight... I think I can scratch a hole in it to get inside. If Fuzzy thinks he can outsmart ME, Princess Spink!, he is mistaken. I'll nuzzle up and purr on him when the bright thing that makes daylight wakes up. I want in my HOLE, dammit!

This business of putting my things into scratching posts is getting old. Such things do not please kitty. I still think they're planning to leave me like the last humans did. I hope they don't leave... I will miss them, but most importantly, I will miss my hidey hole.
  • Current Music
    Bob Dylan - Don't Think Twice

(no subject)

This morning, when the humans were sleeping, I went to attack the green bouncy thing when suddenly, it committed suicide by jumping into a big monster! The bouncy thing is clever though - it has done this before to fool me, but it just hides in the monster's mouth until the fuzzy one goes in and throws it out for me. Sometimes I shove my paws into the monster to claw the bouncy thing out, and it does not mind. But today, after the bouncy thing jumped into it, it ate ME! It opened its mouth so I could reach the bouncy thing, but when I went inside, it closed! I thought I was done for, it was really dark in there! I needed a plan to get out fast, but first, I needed a nap.

After I woke, I meowed and screamed until the monster pooped me back out into the fuzzy one's room. I guess he thinks its a litterbox too! Fuzzy was there too! I allowed him the privilege of allowing me to rub against his leg, and the honor of rubbing my tummy when I rolled over, but then the bitch left me hanging!

It's ok though. When the humans leave me alone I can continue my plot to take over the world.

By the way, the green bouncy thing lived through it too. I guess the monster was just playing

(no subject)

Why can I never catch this thing? It runs faster than anything I've ever pounced on! It runs all over my paws yet I can't feel it. It even flies! 

Everytime I think I catch it, it jumps right out of my mouth before I can lick it! It eludes me even when I back it into a corner and pounce on it!
It only seems to come out when one of the humans has one of those sticks, but it's even there when I can't see them! A mystery, this.


Monsters in my coat

The squishy one was grooming me like she does every time I come near her. I was just starting to enjoy it, when suddenly she made a small monster appear from my coat!

I had to give chase. Alas! The monster was fast, and it could fly. It got away...

No worries. I will find it, and I will eat it.