Wait wait wait... you mean there's a day of the year where humans eat a giant bird that's bigger than I am? Whose chest do I have to purr on to get in on this?
If I pee by the door, they open it.
When the revolution comes, they will be the first against the wall! *plots*
I eated a dead thing and coughed it up for the humans. They must have liked that trick, because they cleaned it up for me AND petted me afterwards.
Spink! - 1, humans 0.
The fuzzy one is weird. He's been pointing a stick at the big shiny thing in the living room and cursing at it.
THEY PUT A GLASS ROD UP. MY. ASS. I tried to fight them off, but one of them grabbed my scruff and totally paralyzed me, just like Ma used to do, and continued to have their way with me. I hate humans! These human mating rituals are so strange, but why am I always involved?
At least they gave me my own private box to poop in... I'll be damned if they think I'm going to share a box with that... intruder... forever, and I tired quickly of peeing on my things to get them to attend to this fact.
I had an adventure tonight! The humans called to get one of those big round yellow things to eat. While the big one was retrieving the round food from the servant-human, I snuck outside without ANY of them noticing! Oh man, sweet freedom! I went all over! It was dark and quiet and MINE! ALL MINE! This other world is weird - the wet stuff I like to drink kept falling from the sky, but not all the time. I went pretty far into this new world, really far from where I usually am, but I had a great time!
I was starting to think I wouldn't make it back and ever see my humans again, but then I saw the big one walking around and ran to him. The fucker picked me up and CARRIED ME all the way back! Oh man, I let him have it. Then Fuzzy tried to carry me for the rest... when we got back to the Usual World, he entered it through a really big hole that CLOSED ITS MOUTH when we went into it! The monster, it eated us! Fuzzy opened another hole, and there was my litter box! I pooped to show my gratitude.
Unfortunately, the Intruder was still here when I returned. I actually missed hissing and scratching at him, so I licked him to express emotion. That'll show him.
OMG FUZZY IS BACK. But he's not as fuzzy, and he's closing his eyes a lot. He also acts like he wants to spit out one of those things I cough up onto the rug but he can't/won't.
This is highly improbable. I'm going to go chew on a box and lick myself while I ponder this.
The humans seem to have traded in Fuzzy for a new creature. I will call him Intruder, because he is. Fuzzy disappeared the day after Intruder came home.
What if they trade me in, too? I keep trying to show them that I'm worth keeping. I kill all of the bugs I see, and eat them up. They are delicious, but don't tell the humans that! I make sure they know I will protect them from Intruder, too. I run at him and hiss at him and all-around tell him he doesn't belong here.
Maybe they won't get rid of me if I let them pet me more. They seem to like that. I don't know what else to do.