What's in the hole?

I have won the day!

I forgot to tell the Internet that Intruder is gone. The humans replaced him with two smaller ones and then got rid of him! I was pissed off at first, but it turns out that the smaller ones are easier to chase and less uppity with me. And the one that looks like me keeps scoring us all tuna.

But really, this means the house is mine again, bitches!
me!

"Turkey Day"

Wait wait wait... you mean there's a day of the year where humans eat a giant bird that's bigger than I am? Whose chest do I have to purr on to get in on this?
me!

OMG

OMG.... WTF IS THE MEANING OF THIS??!??!?!



That is NOT me! BAH!

Hmph.
  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated
me!

Observation

I eated a dead thing and coughed it up for the humans. They must have liked that trick, because they cleaned it up for me AND petted me afterwards.

Spink! - 1, humans 0.

The fuzzy one is weird. He's been pointing a stick at the big shiny thing in the living room and cursing at it.
me!

Mwahahaha

Ha, bitches. The humans, they're all gone! This house is mine now. I don't care what that intruder thinks - the food is mine, the litterboxes are mine, and all the beds are mine mine MINE! Human best not be forgetting to go digging for treasure in my litterboxs no matter where they are.

I dunno where everyone went, but it's dark and cold in here, and kinda lonely. I'm so... ronery. So vewy ronery...



Time to go pass out in the sink.
me!

(no subject)

THEY PUT A GLASS ROD UP. MY. ASS. I tried to fight them off, but one of them grabbed my scruff and totally paralyzed me, just like Ma used to do, and continued to have their way with me. I hate humans! These human mating rituals are so strange, but why am I always involved?

At least they gave me my own private box to poop in... I'll be damned if they think I'm going to share a box with that... intruder... forever, and I tired quickly of peeing on my things to get them to attend to this fact.
me!

Spinkcraft Launched!

I had an adventure tonight! The humans called to get one of those big round yellow things to eat. While the big one was retrieving the round food from the servant-human, I snuck outside without ANY of them noticing! Oh man, sweet freedom! I went all over! It was dark and quiet and MINE! ALL MINE! This other world is weird - the wet stuff I like to drink kept falling from the sky, but not all the time. I went pretty far into this new world, really far from where I usually am, but I had a great time!

I was starting to think I wouldn't make it back and ever see my humans again, but then I saw the big one walking around and ran to him. The fucker picked me up and CARRIED ME all the way back! Oh man, I let him have it. Then Fuzzy tried to carry me for the rest... when we got back to the Usual World, he entered it through a really big hole that CLOSED ITS MOUTH when we went into it! The monster, it eated us! Fuzzy opened another hole, and there was my litter box! I pooped to show my gratitude.

Unfortunately, the Intruder was still here when I returned. I actually missed hissing and scratching at him, so I licked him to express emotion. That'll show him.
  • Current Music
    meow
me!

Fuzzy!

OMG FUZZY IS BACK. But he's not as fuzzy, and he's closing his eyes a lot. He also acts like he wants to spit out one of those things I cough up onto the rug but he can't/won't.

This is highly improbable. I'm going to go chew on a box and lick myself while I ponder this.
Queen of all I survey

What if I'm next??

The humans seem to have traded in Fuzzy for a new creature. I will call him Intruder, because he is. Fuzzy disappeared the day after Intruder came home.

What if they trade me in, too? I keep trying to show them that I'm worth keeping. I kill all of the bugs I see, and eat them up. They are delicious, but don't tell the humans that! I make sure they know I will protect them from Intruder, too. I run at him and hiss at him and all-around tell him he doesn't belong here.

Maybe they won't get rid of me if I let them pet me more. They seem to like that. I don't know what else to do.
  • Current Mood
    cranky cranky